[∙] WHERE DO i STAND?

I have always been interested in the same subjects: plesure, beauty, enigma, power, love, death, dream, etc. That has not changed, and yet when I look at my career, I can identify only one clear pattern: change.
My whole vision of art and my own work is absolutely different now than last year, and even more if we talk about 5 years or so.
Contradictory changes.

And through those changes I have always been jumping from one ideology to another, from one “faithful” reference to another. I mean, I have always had a point of influence and reference to grab to, until now…
I have switched my devotion from one interesting concept to another, until now…
We live in a time of lack of roots. In fact, I believe this characteristic defines our age, and I find myself in an uncomfortable situation.
Things like marriage, patrimony, pensions, spiritual faith, heaven or hell; exist no more, or at least I would not buy them.

All of this would be easier to take if at least I had a clear artistic ideology to hold to, but I do not. Must of them are quite groundless too; they get torn or neutralized by new, old or simply different ones.
There is no such thing as a common ground, a solid reference from which you can take off. Of course there are some brilliant ideas and talented people, but to me they seem to be floating around in the dark just like I am. I eventually run into one or two and find it amazing, even clarifying but not quite definitive.
I assume moments of limbo like this are some kind of a melting pot for new ideas.

NO OLD SCHOOL, NO DOGMA, TONS OF INFORMATION, AND JUST MY OWN.

It is frightening yet exiting.
Being naked in front of a crowd in a math test.
Loneliness and freedom.
An overwhelming responsibility and an opportunity of choosing.
To accept that the only one I can speak for is my own.
So I look at myself, and remembering that Oscar Wilde´s phrase (man is least himself when he talks in his own person, give him a mask and he will tell you the truth), I realize that I have always liked the same subjects, and that I want to keep talking about them.